I thought this was MY blog.

When I first started this... experiment, I thought that it would be much like a journal, but less griping and bitching. I thought that this was a place where I could share my thoughts and comments and ideas, and people may or may not read them. And while I do think that this blog is for me, I do also try to take into consideration the feelings of the people who might be reading this. I try not to use peoples' names to protect their privacy. I haven't really put very many pictures of people up here. And I keep my opinions about other people quiet, because this is NOT a gossip blog.

But now I find myself in the position of not blogging something because of the possibility that someone might read it and be offended or hurt by it. I'm really angry right now. I want to scream and yell and vent all of this anger and frustration, and I can't. I want to tell this person to get the $%@# over themselves, and that they just need to move on. I want to tell this person to stop dumping all of their crap on me and other people. I want to explain why I wish this person would just shut the hell up, but I can't. But I just can't take this person anymore. The ultimate frustration is that, despite my unmitigated anger with this person, I can't really let it all off my chest because I don't want to offend them on MY blog. My head is going to explode...

Update to a previous post...

Rather be grant writing (which I AM doing) than doing this...

P.S. When I told her that I wasn't going to the wedding, she said that "hopefully they won't treat YOU this way when it's YOUR turn to get married." HA!

Random positive side-effect of grant writing

I have been compiling this massive table for my grant that includes everyone that all of the investigators (there are about 20 of them) have ever mentored during the course of their careers (I know, it's ridiculously stupid...). Anyway, one of the names ended up being that of one of my old college friends! And then I just happened to see her log on to Facebook! And when I said "hello!", she called me chiclet. I haven't been called that in a long time. I miss old college friends!

My girl!

My goddaughter K is only 14 months old, and she's already in charge!

(Thanks to K's daddy D for the picture!)

This is how much I suck...

I gave whatever it was that I had last week (and which has left me with an irritating lingering cough) to one of my friends/co-workers. I SUCK. I'm really, REALLY, REALLY sorry, S.

Cure for the flu

(Don't worry... it's just regular flu. I'm not cool enough for swine flu.)

EDITED TO ADD: A suggests kittens as a remedy. I'm sure kittens and puppies would have the same effect as the above cure.

Things that make me happy

So yesterday (and today) was one great big old gripe-fest. I seriously woke up on the wrong side of the bed yesterday, and it was truly one of those days where I wasn't meant for human interaction. But today's a new day! It's stopped raining (hallelujah!!), and the sun is threatening to come out. And it's amazing how much better that makes me feel! So I thought that in the spirit of my improved mood, I thought I'd offer the antidote to my rant-fest from yesterday, and acknowledge some of the things that have cheered me up over the last couple of days.

1. Reun-ing. So it's not a word, but going to my HS reunion last weekend was absolutely awesome. about 2/3 of my class came, and there wasn't a single person who I wasn't thrilled to see. It amazes me how everyone seems just the same (they certainly look the same), but more mature, sophisticated, and nicer!

2. Boxers. And Beagles. And Jack Russel terriers. And Gus & Uma (Border Collies). And Missy (Poodle). OK, maybe I should just say "Dogs."

3. Babies. They crack me up! 'Nuff said.

4. THE SUN!!!!

5. The pink flower blossoms that bloom on the trees in the spring (before they fall to the ground and turn in to a brown gooey mush from the rain and people walking on them).

6. My friends. Again, 'nuff said.

7. FC Softball!

8. Knitting

When I am in a funk like the one I was in yesterday, it really does help me to realize that all is not lost,and the world isn't out to get me, despite what I might be thinking at the moment. So raise your coffee and toast to thinking positively! Salut!

A little more venting and then I'm done.

Maybe it's just because I'm hypersensitive, but twice in the last day have people randomly given me unsolicited information/advice/warnings, and it's really starting to get on my nerves.

Yesterday I was walking into a building where I was required to get buzzed in by the person I was visiting. As I'm approaching the key pad thingy on the wall, this little old lady is coming out of the building. After she comes out, she kind of stands in front of the door (as if to bar my way in) and says "I can't let you in. You'll have to get buzzed in." Um. OK. Thanks for the tip. I had no idea. Really. I'm not a proponent of granny-cide, but I so wanted to kick her in the shins. But instead, I said in my sweetest possible voice that I never had any intention of asking her to open the door for me. Old biddy.

And then on the trolley on my way to work this morning, I sat down in one of the single seats towards the front. The trolley was pretty full, but nowhere near capacity. Mostly, all of the pairs of seats were occupied by a single person. So after I sit down, this guy (around my age, I'd guess), leans across the aisle and says to me "you should really give up your seat to someone who needs it more." HUH? I'm sorry -- where was the old lady or pregnant woman who I must have shoved out of the way to get to the seat? And who the f*&k is he to tell he something like that? So a couple of stops later, an older man gets on, and I just sat there while this dude gave me the evil eye. Why? Because HE was occupying TWO seats himself. And I figured that he should lead by example. So I just glared at him as he scooted over to let the older man sit down.

I don't know why this pissed me off SO much, but both times, I was left FUMING. Especially this morning. I mean, it's like this guy looked at me, decided that I was going to be rude and inconsiderate, and thought that he should proactively give me a warning? And what about HIM being a gentleman, since he appeared to be young and healthy himself. WTF. Sigh. Enough griping. Now I'm going to write the post that I originally intended to write...

Things that are irritating me today...

1. People who crowd you unnecessarily in elevators. If there are only 3 of us in there, there's absolutely NO reason why you need to be so close that our arms are touching!

2. People who line jump in the coffee shop.  You looked right at me, and then stepped in line in front of me.  And then when you caught me glaring at you, you said "were you in line?"  No, I'm just standing behind a bunch of other people who are waiting for their turn for shits and giggles. 

3. The PPA.  How was I supposed to know that parking in a meter-less 2 hour time limited spot renders THE ENTIRE BLOCK off-limits for the rest of the day?  That's a bunch of bull$^!#. 

4. My iron.  I burned my finger this morning.  It hurts like a mo-fo. 

5. Getting up for early meetings only to arrive at work to find that your 8:30am meeting has been moved to 9:15.

6. Knowing that the only time slot available for someone you MUST talk to next week is at 8:00am.  And that person is always on time. 

7. MS Excel. My stupid worksheet window has somehow moved to the top of the screen within the program, so I can't see my top few rows. WTF?

I'm sure there's more, but I have to get back to work.