Mom came home yesterday. They performed a procedure on Monday called a kyphoplasty, in which they inserted a balloon into the area of her spine with the compression fracture, expanded the space, and then injected some sort of cement into it. Other than some minor ache-y-ness from the procedure itself (they performed it laproscopically), she felt a million times better just 2 hours after the procedure. She may need some physical therapy, since she's been on her back for over a week, but that's pretty easy to deal with. She'll also start treatment next week, and we'll see where it goes from there.
I don't know why I can't put it into writing, but I can't. I can say it, I have no problem saying that word, but seeing it written in black and white is still a little too much for me right now.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Photo of the Day, 6/8/2010
I stole this idea from Tracey.
Baby H feet!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Baby H feet!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Thank You
It's been a difficult week for me, and there will be more difficult times to come, but so many people have been so incredibly thoughtful, supportive and kind. I never realized how much a call, email, text, or a walk could make me feel so much better. So to all of you - and you know who you are - THANK YOU.
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- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Mom, an update part 2
More test have been done. She's been poked and prodded and scanned and poked some more. Now we have results. They're not the results that we wanted. So now we have to figure out the next steps. I think I'm still a little stunned by it all.
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- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Mom, an Update
My mother is still in the hospital. Her Calcium levels have gone down to an acceptable level, but she still has a really high heartrate and some difficulty breathing due to all of the fluids that they were giving her to bring down the Ca. She's been poked and prodded and stuck with needles over and over again. They changed her pain meds because what she was on was making her incredibly lethargic. Now, she's less lethargic, but the pain is a little more intense, and now she's developed a fever.
After our family meeting on Monday, I was designated as the healthcare contact person for my mom's care. I'm sure that the nurses are sick of me at this point, since I'm constantly asking them "why" and "what's next" and "what were the results of [whatever] test." I wanted this responsibility because I need to know what's going on. Considering that this situation is still fraught with questions and uncertainty, knowing what the doctors and nurses are doing every single step of the way is my only way of keeping some semblance of control. And, I just hate the not knowing part. But things are starting to make sense from a medial standpoint, so that's a relief. There's still so much that has to happen before my mom will be ok (or even ok enough to go home), but I am relieved to know that there's some sort of a plan.
Now I'm exhausted - physically and mentally. My muscles actually ache as if I've just had a strenuous workout. I went to work today just to get a break from spending every waking minute at the hospital with my mom. And if I'm not there, I (or my sister M) is at the house checking in on Dad, doing laundry, etc. Oh yeah, and we've been calling friends and family to postpone Saturday's surprise birthday fete for my soon-to-be-septuagenarian father. For now, I'm going to try and get some sleep, and hope that I can actually sleep through the night, which is a luxury that I haven't had in forever. Sigh. And ZZZZZZZ.......
After our family meeting on Monday, I was designated as the healthcare contact person for my mom's care. I'm sure that the nurses are sick of me at this point, since I'm constantly asking them "why" and "what's next" and "what were the results of [whatever] test." I wanted this responsibility because I need to know what's going on. Considering that this situation is still fraught with questions and uncertainty, knowing what the doctors and nurses are doing every single step of the way is my only way of keeping some semblance of control. And, I just hate the not knowing part. But things are starting to make sense from a medial standpoint, so that's a relief. There's still so much that has to happen before my mom will be ok (or even ok enough to go home), but I am relieved to know that there's some sort of a plan.
Now I'm exhausted - physically and mentally. My muscles actually ache as if I've just had a strenuous workout. I went to work today just to get a break from spending every waking minute at the hospital with my mom. And if I'm not there, I (or my sister M) is at the house checking in on Dad, doing laundry, etc. Oh yeah, and we've been calling friends and family to postpone Saturday's surprise birthday fete for my soon-to-be-septuagenarian father. For now, I'm going to try and get some sleep, and hope that I can actually sleep through the night, which is a luxury that I haven't had in forever. Sigh. And ZZZZZZZ.......
Monday, May 31, 2010
Mom
My mom is sick. What was originally thought to be a pulled muscle in her back turned to be a broken vertebrae in her back. So she's been walking around for about a month in all sorts of pain. But that's the least of it. Since she didn't fall or experience any trauma, one has to wonder how it happened. There are several reasons why bones spontaneously break, and she'll be in the hospital for several days until the doctors figure out what the reason is.
Anyone who knows me knows that my mom and I have had our difficulties, but seeing her laying in a hospital bed makes me so afraid that I won't have time to make up for being a difficult daughter.
I've spent the last 2 days trying to make sure I have all of the current information from the doctors, making sure my dad is ok in the house by himself and is eating, trying to figure out "what's next."
So... yeah. There are so many "what if"s, and I am just having a tough time thinking about all of them. I've already established myself as the strong, taking charge one, but in reality, it's taking everything I have in me to not collapse into a fit of hysterics in front of everyone.
I don't know what I'm going to do. Except go to sleep so that I can head over to the hospital first thing in the morning.
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Anyone who knows me knows that my mom and I have had our difficulties, but seeing her laying in a hospital bed makes me so afraid that I won't have time to make up for being a difficult daughter.
I've spent the last 2 days trying to make sure I have all of the current information from the doctors, making sure my dad is ok in the house by himself and is eating, trying to figure out "what's next."
So... yeah. There are so many "what if"s, and I am just having a tough time thinking about all of them. I've already established myself as the strong, taking charge one, but in reality, it's taking everything I have in me to not collapse into a fit of hysterics in front of everyone.
I don't know what I'm going to do. Except go to sleep so that I can head over to the hospital first thing in the morning.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Friday, May 28, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Photo of the Day, 5/18/2010
Doing my civic duty.
(I forgot to post this yesterday!)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
(I forgot to post this yesterday!)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Monday, May 17, 2010
Falling into place, finally
I haven't written here in a while. I've been hesitant from the very beginning to completely bare my heart and soul on a blog that anyone, anywhere could read. I thought it would be a good way for me to force myself to really think about the things that have been weighing on me over the last few months and years.
What I've realized, though, is that it's almost impossible to be completely open and honest here (or anywhere, for that matter). To lay bare all of the thoughts and worries that weigh on me would be to contradict what I've been saying to the people who care about me for months - that I'm fine and that I'm doing well. I've even gone so far as to stop seeing my friends because I don't want to give away the slightest hint that I'm not OK. And I've convinced myself that they don't want me around anyway, because I'm such a drag.
So now, I'm often painfully and frighteningly lonely. It's feeling that comes and goes in waves, some that feel like they're crushing me, but most of which seem to lap at my ankles. My only option is to just deal. I knew what I was getting into when I made the decisions that I did, and I can't go back on that now. I never thought that I'd say that I'm inherently a social creature, but I am. So to not be surrounded by friends and activity is difficult for me. But this new life is my choice. I have been pretty good at making the best of it, but it's still a difficult adjustment sometimes. So I am OK these days. I've picked up some new hobbies and resurrected a couple of old ones. I revel in being out and enjoying the spring weather. I think I still need a little more time to adjust, but things are falling into place now.
What I've realized, though, is that it's almost impossible to be completely open and honest here (or anywhere, for that matter). To lay bare all of the thoughts and worries that weigh on me would be to contradict what I've been saying to the people who care about me for months - that I'm fine and that I'm doing well. I've even gone so far as to stop seeing my friends because I don't want to give away the slightest hint that I'm not OK. And I've convinced myself that they don't want me around anyway, because I'm such a drag.
So now, I'm often painfully and frighteningly lonely. It's feeling that comes and goes in waves, some that feel like they're crushing me, but most of which seem to lap at my ankles. My only option is to just deal. I knew what I was getting into when I made the decisions that I did, and I can't go back on that now. I never thought that I'd say that I'm inherently a social creature, but I am. So to not be surrounded by friends and activity is difficult for me. But this new life is my choice. I have been pretty good at making the best of it, but it's still a difficult adjustment sometimes. So I am OK these days. I've picked up some new hobbies and resurrected a couple of old ones. I revel in being out and enjoying the spring weather. I think I still need a little more time to adjust, but things are falling into place now.
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