Photo of the Day, 6/25/2010

Posts stuck in the sidewalk from old parking meters put to good use (Walnut St).





- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

What Are You Grateful For?

I just saw that question asked on a blog that I read, and it really made me think. Health emergencies and difficult personal times always make one think about life, etc., but I have a really hard time remembering or reminding myself of the things that I'm grateful for or that make me happy.

Of course, I'm thankful that my mom's getting better. There's a long road ahead of us, but she's getting better, so that's all that I can hope for. I'm also realizing that it'll take her a long time to fully recover, so every bit of progress is an accomplishment.

And I'm also thankful for the time that I spent on Saturday taking pictures. I've been neglecting the things that bring me joy lately, but I've realized that if I let myself indulge in them a little bit, All of the difficult things that I have to deal with afterward so much more manageable. I didn't take any phenomenally good photos, but that wasn't the point. It was to get out and about, and spend a few minutes paying attention to my surroundings rather than my mom's health or other things that stress me.

So those are the things that I am thankful for. I've tried unsuccessfully before to keep a gratitude journal, but I'm going to try to refocus on remembering these things even if I don't necessarily write it down every day.

Edited to add: One thing that I'm going to get back on is my Phanatic photo series. One pic to come soon...

Mom, an Update, Part 3

Mom came home yesterday. They performed a procedure on Monday called a kyphoplasty, in which they inserted a balloon into the area of her spine with the compression fracture, expanded the space, and then injected some sort of cement into it. Other than some minor ache-y-ness from the procedure itself (they performed it laproscopically), she felt a million times better just 2 hours after the procedure. She may need some physical therapy, since she's been on her back for over a week, but that's pretty easy to deal with. She'll also start treatment next week, and we'll see where it goes from there.

I don't know why I can't put it into writing, but I can't. I can say it, I have no problem saying that word, but seeing it written in black and white is still a little too much for me right now.

Photo of the Day, 6/8/2010

I stole this idea from Tracey.

Baby H feet!





- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thank You

It's been a difficult week for me, and there will be more difficult times to come, but so many people have been so incredibly thoughtful, supportive and kind. I never realized how much a call, email, text, or a walk could make me feel so much better. So to all of you - and you know who you are - THANK YOU.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Mom, an update part 2

More test have been done. She's been poked and prodded and scanned and poked some more. Now we have results. They're not the results that we wanted. So now we have to figure out the next steps. I think I'm still a little stunned by it all.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Mom, an Update

My mother is still in the hospital. Her Calcium levels have gone down to an acceptable level, but she still has a really high heartrate and some difficulty breathing due to all of the fluids that they were giving her to bring down the Ca. She's been poked and prodded and stuck with needles over and over again. They changed her pain meds because what she was on was making her incredibly lethargic. Now, she's less lethargic, but the pain is a little more intense, and now she's developed a fever.

After our family meeting on Monday, I was designated as the healthcare contact person for my mom's care. I'm sure that the nurses are sick of me at this point, since I'm constantly asking them "why" and "what's next" and "what were the results of [whatever] test." I wanted this responsibility because I need to know what's going on. Considering that this situation is still fraught with questions and uncertainty, knowing what the doctors and nurses are doing every single step of the way is my only way of keeping some semblance of control. And, I just hate the not knowing part. But things are starting to make sense from a medial standpoint, so that's a relief. There's still so much that has to happen before my mom will be ok (or even ok enough to go home), but I am relieved to know that there's some sort of a plan.

Now I'm exhausted - physically and mentally. My muscles actually ache as if I've just had a strenuous workout. I went to work today just to get a break from spending every waking minute at the hospital with my mom. And if I'm not there, I (or my sister M) is at the house checking in on Dad, doing laundry, etc. Oh yeah, and we've been calling friends and family to postpone Saturday's surprise birthday fete for my soon-to-be-septuagenarian father. For now, I'm going to try and get some sleep, and hope that I can actually sleep through the night, which is a luxury that I haven't had in forever. Sigh. And ZZZZZZZ.......

Mom

My mom is sick. What was originally thought to be a pulled muscle in her back turned to be a broken vertebrae in her back. So she's been walking around for about a month in all sorts of pain. But that's the least of it. Since she didn't fall or experience any trauma, one has to wonder how it happened. There are several reasons why bones spontaneously break, and she'll be in the hospital for several days until the doctors figure out what the reason is.

Anyone who knows me knows that my mom and I have had our difficulties, but seeing her laying in a hospital bed makes me so afraid that I won't have time to make up for being a difficult daughter.

I've spent the last 2 days trying to make sure I have all of the current information from the doctors, making sure my dad is ok in the house by himself and is eating, trying to figure out "what's next."

So... yeah. There are so many "what if"s, and I am just having a tough time thinking about all of them. I've already established myself as the strong, taking charge one, but in reality, it's taking everything I have in me to not collapse into a fit of hysterics in front of everyone.

I don't know what I'm going to do. Except go to sleep so that I can head over to the hospital first thing in the morning.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Photo of the Day, 5/28/2010

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Photo of the Day, 5/18/2010

Doing my civic duty.




(I forgot to post this yesterday!)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone